apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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