Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
