her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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