My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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