we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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