why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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