I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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