Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
be right there i have to get my cape
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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