Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
false alarm, still single
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