don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
