I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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