we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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