Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My vagina just clenched in fear
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
