and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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