im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just cropdusted the office
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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