We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
