Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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