My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Where is the hickey?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
