I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
