Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
