its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
