There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
