if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize