What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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