man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
