no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
