I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
