im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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