dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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