I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
