Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
