My first STD was from a foam party
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
