You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
