I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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