Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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