i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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