OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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