Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
