He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
