Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
