jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
