I didn't shave. On purpose
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We need to get me chipped asap
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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