She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize