I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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