haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
