dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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