My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
