Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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