i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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