how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
