yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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