yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
