Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
