bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
