Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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