his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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