if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
