its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
