no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Couch. On fire.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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