Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
