do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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