dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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