Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
